It’s the end of 2022, and I know I don’t want to set basic goals or build basic habits like working out more, drinking more water, or starting meditation. I know it doesn’t work for me.
After thinking like this for years, I know I’ll fail by doing this. So I decided to do this differently this time. First, I decided to change my mindset on how I set goals.
In my last vlog, I talked about my birthday, how I would like to sit down and reflect on my past year during this time, and the questions I asked myself during this reflection. So yeah, a lot has changed this past year, but I didn’t achieve one of my goals.
So for 2023, this needs to change, and here are the habits I’ll build to achieve whatever I want and create my best year ever.
Who do I want to become?
I think it’s the most important question, and I need to ask it myself whenever I struggle to do something. It’s great to have goals like I want to work out more, I want to eat healthily but behind that, it’s because you want to be the kind of person who doesn’t skip a workout or a person who always tries to eat the healthiest every day. It’s important to ask yourself: by doing this or that, will I become the person I want to be?
So this year, who do I want to become?
I asked myself this question with the book Atomic Habits I had just finished. What habits do I want to add to my life? And by that, who do I want to become?
And the answer was this one: I want to be the kind of person who takes action, who stop second-guessing, and who stop having excuses for everything in life. I want to be the kind of person who is at 100% for reaching my goals, I want to be this person who puts her health and herself first. Because by doing this, I can help others. I want to focus on what I want and not be mesmerized by others’ lives. And I also crave being my own boss, having my own schedule, and designing the life of my dream. I want to be productive instead of busy.
And you, who do you want to become in 2023? Tell me in the comment section below.
I need to take action to become the person I want to be.
I spent a lot of time thinking, planning, and organizing but not so much time doing things. I’m like: it would be great if, or, if I’m doing this like this strategy, I know I will save time. But after thinking a lot, nothing happens.
I love the expression “procrasti-learning”. I hear about it with Sam Laura Brown, who is an expert on perfectionism. And she talks a lot about people who are perfectionists and procrastinate a lot. And one form of procrastination is learning. Learn a lot about a subject; because we don’t have the perfect strategy or think we don’t know everything about a subject, we can’t take action. So, for example, you’re not starting your Youtube Channel because you don’t know everything about this platform, you don’t know how to edit, you know how to post, and so on.
And I’m this kind of person. Because I don’t have the perfect strategy or because my script is not good enough, I won’t post on social media or anything. It’s the same with workouts. Because I don’t know if weight lifting is better than cardio, I won’t exercise.
So in the past few years, I learned a lot, I took a lot of online courses and it’s time now to take action. Because deep inside, I know what I need to do. I need to be consistent, to create, and to go to the fucking gym.
Focusing on what I can control
My last year’s goals were goals that I couldn’t control: the number of pounds I wanted to lose or the number of followers on Youtube and Instagram.
So this year, my goals are all about what I can control. So I can totally control the quality and frequency of my videos. I can totally control what I eat and the number of times I go to the gym.
There are a lot of videos on Instagram about girls with anxiety, and all the time, the boyfriend tells her, “stop being anxious”, or “if you can’t control the situation, why are you so stressed out”. And my boyfriend is the same. Whenever I’m anxious about the situation, he asks me if I can control something in the situation, and most of the time, I say no, so he tells me back, “so don’t be anxious”. And it pisses me off so much. But he’s so right.
So I’ve started thinking like him. I started to be less anxious about things I couldn’t control, like if my train was late or some reactions by certain people at my pharmacy. It’s not because of me if my train is late, and even if I’m late for work because of that, I can’t control it. So I don’t have to be stressed out about this. If someone is in a bad mood at my work, it’s not because of me, and I don’t have to be angry.
Of course, it depends on the day, but I feel less anxious right now than before. I know I’m responsible for my reactions and can control them. Since then, I’ve enjoyed my life so much more.
Getting out of my comfort zone
I came across an Instagram account last month about a girl who will get out of her comfort zone everyday for 365 days. And I thought it was a brilliant idea. She wants to expand her comfort zone, she wants to do things she’s not used to doing because she is always thinking about what people would think of her and facing her fears. So Go, Girl!
And then, because I love to ask myself many questions, I thought about all the things I don’t do because I’m afraid of what people would think of me or because I feel a form of resistance. And oh my god. There are a ton of things. Like I’m 29, and I don’t enjoy my life because of this comfort zone.
I wrote down everything that came to mind, and here’s what I noticed:
Going to the gym is like hell on earth; working on my laptop in a café is like every eye would be on me, and even being dressed better is being out of my comfort zone.
So I will also try to do one or two things on this list weekly for a year.
I know that being out of my comfort zone from time to time will help me achieve my goals and be more confident when I need to take action.
Alright, friends, I hope this blog post will help you to set goals in a different way. Being consistent is the best way to reach them, even if it’s not always perfect.
I hope we will be together in this journey, so please feel free to share your small or big wins in the comment section.
See you, bye friends!